Sexy is definitely a state of mind, and with the fast pace of today’s lifestyle, women and men too are finding themselves too distracted, too anxious or too tired to feel sexy. Some companies are cashing in on the big slump in Western libidos by creating pills containing herbs or chemicals designed to stimulate exhausted, stressed-out people to ever more frenzied sexual activity. I think it’s sad that we’re using pills to relax our minds, what people really need is more time to relax.
If your sex life has taken a dive, there are usually entirely natural and reasonable causes. Rather than doping yourself to feel something, try the following tips first. They are time-honored strategies.
Get real and take time for yourself.
If you’re working 50 hours a week, commuting, competing, keeping up with kids and still expecting to get it on three times a week, you’re expecting too much of yourself. If your health isn’t what it should be, if you’re having problems at work, or if you’re in financial difficulties, your sex drive is also going to be running on empty. A natural response to hard times, a reduced sex drive could be your body’s way of protecting you from pregnancy during times of stress. (Of course, that’s no reason to forget your birth control: bodies aren’t that smart!) If your sex drive is nil in response to an overly stressful lifestyle, don’t just target your sex life; take some serious time to think about how to change your overall quality of life.
Get a sitter for regular date nights.
Parents (especially new parents) are so focused on their children that sex goes right out the window. Getting a sitter is more than just planning an evening alone: it’s something you should do on a regular basis to give you some of your pre-parenting life back. New parents should have a sitter lined up before the baby’s born, and should start going out alone and together right away.